What does “Living on Your Own terms” mean?

Brian Bojan Dordevic
About The Author

Brian Decoded

President at Alpha Efficiency

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This is a little bit different article, with a personal tone. Use it “as is”. I wrote it in a conversation with myself.

For a day I want you to forget about your self-help gurus and inspirational role models. If you try to model other people, when will you have time to be yourself? More often than not, we need to tap inside of us for inspiration. And that’s how I felt today.

Doing your own thinking

Setting goals, changing yourself, becoming all that you can be… Well, all of that is a whole lot of bullshit. Especially if you aren’t happy while you are doing it. The completely unreasonable expectation is to put yourself through pain and pain, for a promise of a pleasure one day, if you are never going to wake up in your dream.

If what you are doing right now, is not making you happy, or if your goal doesn’t let you go through the pain with immense pleasure that you are approaching your goal than you are doing something wrong.

Dive into your project with all of your heart, or don’t do it at all. And don’t work all the time. Progress takes time and you need to live your life too. Chasing the rainbows while your life is passing by is ridiculous. Simply put, don’t be late for your life. Don’t be that guy who was chasing the career whole of his life, never to catch it, while his life passed away in front of his very eyes.

At this point in my life journey, I can say I am quite happy. I am happy to that profound level of my being where simple walk during the office break fuels me with enthusiasm. During that very walk, this article came to life. During that brief moment of euphoria, I realized where I want to go and where I want to be.

And I can take my time and enjoy the process while getting there. I can see the change happening in me, and I am pleased to see it.

What does living on your terms mean?

For the most of my life, I’ve lived on my own terms. Being an only child and knowing how to get by has its own privileges. But sooner or later, you will have to make compromises. And that did happen.

The more you desire, the more compromises you will have to make. And that I did, but then again, those compromises are your own terms. In a way, they are.

Everything that you have in life, you’ve deserved it. Even if you’ve been granted with a lot in the beginning, the fact that you’ve retained it means that you deserve it. If you’ve lost a lot, it means you’ve deserved it too.

Life is a reflection of your inner game. Everything starts and ends inside of you. I know that, because there are periods of time, when I had more, and when I had less. One way or another, I’ve deserved it. Living on your own terms means that you’re taking full responsibility for your desires and actions.

Living on your own terms can be a scam

Never feel sorry for yourself. When you feel sorry for yourself, it means you are taking your own personal power away from yourself. You kill your dreams every time you start reacting to the external stimuli. But sometimes other people can make an inception of the dreams that are not your own.

Don’t fall for marketing gimmicks of “living on your own terms”. Maybe you’ve been invited to network marketing opportunity, these guys will be their mouths full of living on your own terms, by making a dream life for them. And you have to pay the price of potential for living on your own terms up front.

And nobody guarantees you anything. There are far better opportunities for you out there that network marketing. It’s called doing your own thinking. Because you see, any network marketing opportunity requires you to BUILD a business. Then why not build truly your own business? Do you really need the support of people who aren’t truly sure what they are doing themselves? Do you need the clutches of the feel-good social aspect of an opportunity, rather than your own personal power? It’s all up to you. Guess some people need it. It’s not me.

Build your own dreams

That’s why I’ve pulled the plug on network marketing. I didn’t like the idea of scamming people, and not delivering true value. In network marketing, you are the company, and everything you sell is yourself. Products might be good, but the percentage you earn is slim, and you are feeding of the entire chain of beasts above you before you get your own cut.

And sometimes you’ll be doing it for years, and you will be tempted to take a shortcut on the account of your personal life. Sit and contemplate, and ask yourself: “Is it really worth the sacrifice?”

Now back at you

What does living on your own terms means for you? Do you need others to help you design the lifestyle of your dreams, or you have everything you need within yourself to get where you are headed? I would love to hear your opinion in the comments.


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